I murdered the dance floor call the cops
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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