erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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