I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
