somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
tell me about the eggs
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
