if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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