so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
