Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize