I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
