I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
