so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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