Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
