I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
