After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize