Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
