You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
