he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
