Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
