her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
