I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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