I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
