You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
