It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
