Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
