so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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