so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
