doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
