she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
