Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

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  (212): btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up http://tfl.nu/jzw8
  Replies (30) Good night (1238) Bad night (4983)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I hate the hobo that sits outside our building

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Joe or Chris?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.

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  (314): I hate the hobo that sits outside our building (1-314): Joe or Chris? (314): do i even wanna kno y u kno their names? (1-314): well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye. http://tfl.nu/9vla
  Replies (17) Good night (8407) Bad night (1302)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.

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  (619): Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me. http://tfl.nu/28u5
  Replies (23) Good night (989) Bad night (4188)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  God, you're like boner-b-gone

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  (305): God, you're like boner-b-gone http://tfl.nu/0pn8
  Replies (10) Good night (1298) Bad night (5708)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?

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  (706): Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings? http://tfl.nu/0565
  Replies (28) Good night (3184) Bad night (1223)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

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  (573): We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old. http://tfl.nu/bm7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1876) Bad night (1140)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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  (360): You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right? http://tfl.nu/c6gn
  Replies (10) Good night (2711) Bad night (1216)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.

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  (412): i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad. http://tfl.nu/1j3o
  Replies (3) Good night (3457) Bad night (1198)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.

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  (801): He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me. http://tfl.nu/9uhs
  Replies (33) Good night (6232) Bad night (1841)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.

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  (708): They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me. http://tfl.nu/8o6m
  Replies (3) Good night (1283) Bad night (468)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.

  (989): View more from Michigan

  this is the most serious roommate agreement ever

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  (810): So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way. (989): this is the most serious roommate agreement ever http://tfl.nu/m5zb
  Replies (5) Good night (1554) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.

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  (608): You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables. http://tfl.nu/khc5
  Replies (2) Good night (869) Bad night (343)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.

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  (505): Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis. http://tfl.nu/t3p3
  Replies (1) Good night (828) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.

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  (607): Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far. http://tfl.nu/v6o0
  Replies (0) Good night (412) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I need to sanitize my soul.

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  (585): I need to sanitize my soul. http://tfl.nu/5mud
  Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (191)

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