Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
