Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
