she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
