"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
