they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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