haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
