Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
