no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
