We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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