Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
