Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize