ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i believe in u and ur pee
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
