Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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