I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
