So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
