So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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