I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
