what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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