She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
