Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
