we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
