I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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