Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
