Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
