I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We left the knife in your bed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize