you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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