one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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