Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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