sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize