I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
